First, sorry for my silence over the past
few weeks.
As far as the past week is concerned (or, more
specifically, the time since Friday November 6), the reason for that silence does at
least give me something to write about. Here goes...
In a way, browsing porn on the internet is
like mining for gold. You may find one or two nuggets here and there every time
you do it, but occasionally you hit a “rich seam” of material that really
pushes your buttons and exists in reasonable quantity (e.g. a website, model,
author or artist that you were previously unaware of).
Then again (and this is something that’s
only happened to me once before, when I came across a “cuckold story” site more
than ten years ago), you may encounter a “game changer” that really gets under
your skin and affects your fantasies for life.
Well, whether what I encountered on the
above Friday was a “game changer” or just a “rich seam”, it’s certainly taken full occupation of my fantasies over the past week.
As I suppose is true of most people, I have
varying degrees of interest in a range of sexual subjects and fantasies. In my
case, these have always centered on BDSM. So, among many other topics, I’ve
had an interest in the BDSM potential of tickling for some time. In my case, I
think it’s because the combination of bondage and tickling makes punishment a
possibility without physical brutality or damage to the body of the victim.
This, combined with the unique, maddening, “unendurable” sensations that
tickling produces, gives the practice a kind of refinement and delicacy that’s
largely absent from other forms of corporal punishment. Anyway, whatever the
reason, I have (what I assumed was) a mild interest in “bondage tickling”.
Therefore, over the years, I’ve looked on
the internet a number of times for related material, but what I found was usually disappointing. There’s definitely a lot of tickling material around,
but only a very small proportion of it is at all satisfying. A lot of the
artwork is very “cute cartoony” (in the Smurf/My Little Pony/Charlie Brown etc
kind of sense), and the amount of more “serious” art emphasizing the punishment
and suffering angle seems very small (at least, I haven’t been able to find
very much). Photos and videos were also disappointing. The “bondage” was almost
always makeshift and often looked ineffective. In many cases, the emphasis was
on all of those involved “having fun”, the atmosphere was lighthearted, and tickling
was treated as a humorous subject.
However, at least as far as videos are
concerned, the situation seems to have changed since the last time I looked. On said Friday, I found a tickling video on one of those “porn YouTube” sites,
and that soon led me to the webpage of the people who had made it. I guess that
my requirements, when I think about them and list them out, are more or less as
follows:
(1) The bondage device is purpose built,
clean, stylish and (most important) inescapable. The victim is
completely unable to get free, and can’t avoid or mitigate what’s being done to
them in any way.
(2) The tickler is impassive, methodical
and merciless. She isn’t just having “a bit of fun” with the person being
tickled, she’s torturing them.
(3) The person being tickled is obviously having
a hard time. Of course, if we’re talking about an actual video (rather than
fantasy), this clearly has to be within safe, sane and consensual limits.
The videos on the website in question (or
at least some of them) fulfilled all of those requirements, and I found them an
enormous turn on, to an extent that surprised me enormously. Consequently, “tickle
torture” has taken full occupation of my fantasies over the past week. How
largely and how permanently it will figure in my future personal “sexual landscape”
is not clear as yet. Whatever happens, whether this new found interest exhausts
itself like a “fad” or continues long term, the experience has taught me that
there’s still stuff I don’t know about my own sexual feelings.
I would be happy to hear from anyone who
has been surprised by the strength of their response to a particular sexual
fantasy or scenario. I’d also like to point out that I’m not about to abandon
LLP! From today, after a week off (please see the above!) I’m continuing work
on my current LLP project.
Incidentally, if you’re interested, you’ll
find the site in question by googling on “tickle abuse”. A large number of the
videos have been uploaded to free porn video sites.
Cheers.
